Coping With the Stress of a Move

Data shows that Americans move 11.7 times on average throughout their lifetime, making moving to a new home a nearly universal experience that most of us can identify with (Schmidt, E., 2024). Whether you’re moving for work, to live closer to family, to finally own a home, or to live in a dream locale, the reasons for moving are numerous and tend to shift as we age.

One study showed that a change in residence increases stress, regardless of age or whether you are a homeowner or renter ‌(Cheung, K.-S., & Wong, D., 2022). Navigating the logistics of moving house can be daunting, and uprooting your life is never easy, even under otherwise positive circumstances.

Moving can be especially challenging for children, who might struggle to adapt to a new school and peer group and feel anxious during the upheaval when routines are broken. Research shows that children who move more frequently report lower life satisfaction and psychological well-being years later, even when controlling for age, gender, and level of education (‌Hamilton, A., 2010).

Parents can support their children through the moving process in a variety of ways. Keeping a consistent routine as much as possible can help children feel safe and secure, regardless of the changes going on around them. Involving them in the moving process by inviting them to pack their belongings with you or even draw pictures on the cardboard boxes can help them to feel a part of the process. Touring your new home together, in person or virtually, and talking about the steps in the moving process ahead of time can help young children know what to expect.

Books are an effective tool for helping children through difficult emotions and experiences in their lives, and moving is no exception. Books like Teri Roche Drobnick’s Moving Day and Lisa Brown’s The Moving Book can offer young children emotional validation as they face mixed feelings about leaving their old home and moving to a new one.

Source: Holiday House

Drobnick drew upon her own experience moving with her young child in writing Moving Day for young audiences.

Q: Share a bit about your background and what inspired you to write Moving Day.

Teri Roche Drobnick (TRD): I am a clinical social worker who writes full-time. I enjoy writing for children and adults. Moving Day, published by Margaret Ferguson Books/Holiday House, is my debut picture book. My memoir, A Daughter’s Long Goodbye and Friendships Stronger Than Alzheimer’s, will be published in 2026 by She Writes Press.

The original inspiration for Moving Day was my daughter’s resistance to moving when she was 5. Then, my 82-year-old father was opposed to moving from the family home, but it had become unsafe for him to live alone due to dementia. This was a reminder that moving can be difficult at any age.

Q: What was it like for your family to move in the past? What about moving was particularly difficult for your child?

TRD: When we moved, one daughter was only 2 years old. She was too young to fully understand the concept of moving, but no doubt she could feel both the excitement and stress of the impending move. My 5-year-old, on the other hand, was very aware of what the move meant. She was very attached to our home and the neighborhood we lived in. We had a favorite babysitter who lived across the street and a sweet “Auntie” next door who was always bringing over home-baked cookies and Christmas and birthday gifts. That house and neighborhood were all she knew. Even though we were only moving a mile away, she wasn’t changing schools, and we weren’t moving to a different town, there was a feeling of comfort and familiarity where we were. All this would be disrupted, creating a feeling of uncertainty and concern.

Q: What seemed to help your children through the moving process? What was helpful for you in managing the stress of the move?

TRD: Before we moved, we brought our daughters over to the new house numerous times to acclimate them and for them to learn where they would be sleeping, etc. In order to give them a bit of control in the situation, we had them help pack their toys and books. We talked about the excitement of being in a bigger house with a yard for them to play in.

The day of the move, my parents came to pick them up for the weekend, so we were able to shield them somewhat from the stress and exhaustion of the move-in. But we made sure that they saw the moving van being packed up, so there were no surprises when they returned home. We drove over to the new house for them to observe all our belongings arriving at the new place. When they arrived back home at the end of the weekend, they helped put away their toys and books and settled into the room where they would help to decorate.

After the move, our 5-year-old cried every time we drove past our old house. There was a nostalgia for the house. The familiarity of a home is hard to separate from. But we promised to keep in touch with our “Auntie” next door and continued to utilize the favorite babysitter from across the street.

Since kids thrive on predictability and routine, it was important to establish that dinner and bedtime would be the same after the move-in. We also registered our 5-year-old on a soccer team, in order to meet kids in the neighborhood. Shortly after moving, we met a mom and her daughter out on the street buying ice cream from the ice cream truck. I learned she had two girls the same age as ours! So, the play dates began, and it was the wonderful beginning of building community and comfort in our new neighborhood.

Author Teri Roche Drobnick offers tips for moving with kids.

Source: Eileen Roche Photography/Used with permission

Q: Why do you think moving is so stressful for families?

TRD: Moving can be extremely strenuous, both physically and emotionally. Packing and unpacking are exhausting. Attempting to discern what needs to be moved and what is extraneous is a chore. The logistics of changing your address, connecting utilities, and forwarding mail are extremely time-consuming. Moving is also costly, and the financial burden can add to the stress. Then there’s getting settled into the new neighborhood, where everything is unfamiliar. This can also create anxiety. If the child has to change schools, that opens up an entirely new set of circumstances and stressors, such as the uncertainty of making new friends and fitting in, or academic challenges.

Q: How does Moving Day validate children’s emotions related to moving, and help them to have hope that they’ll feel settled again soon?

TRD: The house in Moving Day experiences similar emotions to kids when moving. The house is resistant to the move, not wanting to leave its familiar neighborhood. It experiences stress and fear when it’s being pulled down the hill and around corners, and anxiety when it doesn’t see its family. But Moving Day concludes with a happy ending when the house sees its family waiting for it in its new spot. Then the house sees the familiar ice cream truck with its jingly jangly melody, and it knows everything will be fine.

Q: What do you hope young readers take away from spending time with your book?

TRD: The most important takeaway from Moving Day is that it’s not as important where you are, but who you’re with.